About Schlager

I'm currently doing a case study on 'Schlager', aka I've been needlessly listening to this genre of music and didn't want the time wasted. Because yes, I listen to stuff other than just soundtracks, but that's not what this site is about. Anyway, when looking at the albums, I made several observations that I would like to share with you. I'll have to briefly explain why, because Schlager is a very special, German-cultural phenomenon in itself, where simple lyrics with simple melodies create catchy tunes that you're not particularly proud of and yet can't get out of your head.

The Schlager thus lives from its recognizability and interchangeability, ensuring that the more or less correct execution of the step-step-tap of the disco fox can be guaranteed despite alcohol levels beyond the recommended daily dose. But even this low level of musical creation is undercut by the cover design. The formulaic nature of the pop song can also be found there. In the following, I would like to present and evaluate the six most obvious motifs:

The skew

Since in German "Schräg", does both mean skew and weird, you could assume that I mean these covers to be something 'freaky'. No, these images have a tendency to lean sideways and present the protagonist(s) with a pronounced muscle atrophy in the neck or the body as a whole. The result is a slanted posture that is supposed to suggest dynamism and looseness. Doesn't work for me, 2/5.

The glasses

Sure, Schlager-music often goes hand in hand with sun, sand and Malle (Mallorca). This calls for the right accessory, and in addition to humorous items of equipment such as snorkels and diving masks, these are of course sunglasses. Sometimes loose on the nose, sometimes held cool, sunglasses are the symbol of vacation and the manifest climax of pragmatic clothing awareness. They also hide a lot of the protagonist's face, which is why I give them 4/5 points.

The pointer

'The pointer' is also popular in combination with the sunglasses. “Hey you,” the cover seems to imply, “I know exactly what you want. Come here and have a good time!” And it works! Immediately I feel the need to wash out this assault on my visual nerves with plenty of alcohol and at the same time feel used - but also seen. I reward this pictorial coercion with 3/5 and now I finally know what most women in the club have to endure.

The group

As the philosopher Kathi Kess once said: „Zwei sind ein Paar, drei eine Party, mach einfach mit, dann sind wir zu dritt” ("Two are a couple, three are a party, just join in, then there are three of us.") With this in mind, the group covers feature either the singers of the song, their relationship with each other or a mixture of the two. Bonus points if dressed as identically as possible or simply printed oneself multiple times. However, since the whole thing is rarely more appealing than a look at a conventional class yearbook, I have to give it a 1/5.

The sitter

“He who sits cannot walk.” This is an old West-East Sudanese proverb. However, since the board game touch-move-rule applies to dancing, it's hard to shake a leg while squatting. Accordingly, I don't feel the urge to move at the sight of people pining over me while their posture actually signals a bowel movement. 0/5!

The graphics

Sometimes intended as a simple visualization of the title, then again as a caricaturistic distortion of reality, these cartoons are an absolute 10/5 for me! After all, there is nothing more appealing than immortalizing scantily clad women in drawings whose level of intellectual creation is as high as the blood level in the artist's body when creating the work. And, anyway, this kind of cover design ensures that I have to see less of the real performers. Win - win.